what do i wish to say after an experience as moving as the movie the help…
i want to say that some things are worth fighting for.
that pain runs deep.
and to be careful.
it seems to me that we all assume that we are on the side of the ones being hurt, but then who is it exactly that is doing the hurting? if we all put ourselves on the side of “the help”, especially captain i-am-so-white-i-am-practically-see-through over here, then where is the beauty in the story changing people? if we are all the good guys, then how in tarnation are we to find the evil once we have put on our capes and underoos? maybe when you are able to sit in a movie and see visibly the hurt that racism has caused, then you are ready to sit in front of the mirror and ask if you have been the source of another’s pain.
maybe as you see the pain of miscarriage in the face and tears of a mother who has lost a child you are able to let a friend take a little longer than expected in mourning her loss of her child. maybe as you see what damage a mother’s remarks can make on the way her daughter views herself, you can muster up the strength to say… you are smart. you are kind. you are important.
this world is going to expect you to be something. there will be times you live up to those expectations and there will be times you don’t, but maybe the cruelty isn’t in the high expectations… maybe it is in what you allow those expectations to do to the person you were made to be. want me to be a sugar sweet southern woman who will invite you for tea and bless your heart? i am sorry, i am currently her understudy, but what i can provide you is someone who has had a great deal of pain and who is still standing. someone who has had really rough patches of marriage but who still fights to love my husband well, someone who feels deeply, loves extravagantly, cusses more than the average but who will refuse to simply “bless your heart” when you are bleeding out in front of me. i will hold you, i will tell you that it sucks, i will stay with you awhile.