did i ever tell you about the time my next door neighbors thought i was dead?

if you’re just joining us here at, let’s just say my pregnancies are light on the glow and heavy on the vomit, to say the least. during my pregnancy with MC, i could not keep anything down. every minute was spent in bed, hoping this would not be a day we traveled to the ER for fluids… willing myself to keep something down.

what i didn’t think about during this time was what it looked like from the outside. our neighborhood consisted of cute bungalows, all close together, with a regular walking flow on the sidewalks. it was easy to get to know people, and we had a great couple next door, who, after not seeing me emerge for 3 or 4 months, naturally grew concerned. and then it happened. the beautiful, sweet and kind gem of a woman looked out her window and saw someone bringing matt a casserole.

matt was barely surviving this pregnancy as his wife was STRUGGLIN’. each day he came home and would ask “how was today sweetie?” only to hear his wife scream “take me now Lord!” the neighbors had seen him walking to work or walking the dog and greeted him as always, but it was as if he never heard them. he carried on as if in a daze, possibly still asleep, and passed by without a glance. which makes perfect sense when they saw the casserole delivered. now they knew… he killed his wife.

she sprung to the phone and asked her husband to search the obituaries and they began putting the pieces together. they would have never thought matt to be capable of this, but isn’t that always how it goes? the news interviews the neighbors and they say, “he was nice. he kept to himself. we’re shocked.”

she did the only thing any beautiful, heart-of-gold having, caring neighbor in the south would do… she confronted evil with jam. waiting until her husband was home, mind you, our neighbor grabbed a jar of homemade preserves she had made and brought them to matt to inquire as to what had happened. matt told her how hellacious the pregnancy had been and she was compassionate and kind, and they cared for us well. it wasn’t until healthy babies were born and laughter and adult beverages and time had grown us closer that she shared the truth. she waited just the right amount of time before saying… i thought matt killed you. 

This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Dead…

  1. Heather Scott says:

    It has been years since I laughed so hard I cried! I am CRYING this is hysterical. I remember the weeks after the seed was planted in my mind that Matt had killed you. All of the evidence kept building to support this horrific theory. Then when Randy jogged by Matt one morning and said “Hey Matt!” and Matt had no response…just a scared, blank look we KNEW he had killed you! LOL. We were saying that you SEEM like the perfect couple and that IS who is always on the news. We are so glad you’re not dead…and that Matt is not in jail. Love you. This is so perfectly written.

  2. Kathleen says:

    too funny!!! might have to share this one…

  3. neil says:

    That’s hilarious! Love these!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s