there is a stillness that comes in the beginning parts of the day where the bugs sing the only song there is to sing. there is a quietness in the morning that makes the sound of a school bus passing break the silence as if a velociraptor was eating an old truck. there is a moment before tiny feet jump out of big girl beds, before coffee is brewed and books are read where you get to decide who you are going to be.
i want to take that moment and cannonball into the sea of possibilities. like a kid at a friend’s house with entirely new and exciting dress-up bins, i want to try on each idea and twirl. i want to know that the only expectations of me are not refills on sippys, clean laundry and a sweet sticky note in each lunchbox. in this moment i expect the world.
when the milk is spilled all over the breakfast table, when the tiny body turns to liquid and splashes to the floor exasperated at the news that they cannot wear a combination of their bathing suit, snowsuit and christmas dress from 2009 to school or when you arise to the awareness of a sick day (with gentle whispers of 4 more for each member of your family behind them) it is as if someone turned on all the lights at the same time and busted out in the exclamation of the baboon type animal that lifts up the lion king for all to see. aaaaahhhhhhhshamenahhbababeeeshabbabooooo. the stillness, the moment and your dress up box of possibilities fade into the background.
what would happen today if the someone else we tried to be was simply the best version of ourselves. what if instead of feeling trapped by my identity or roles i blossomed in them. i am going to sit down here and wrestle out of this kids astronaut costume i just shoved myself into and be the woman who is not broken by spilt milk, who gently walks her tiny drama queens through two outfits that won’t create an unbearable nickname they’ll carry all the way to their senior yearbook, and not collapse in despair at a sick day.
i am all about dreaming. i would like to be and do so many things and i hope that i make some strides in following those dreams today. what i am unwilling to do here in this moment is dream away this life i’ve been given. i can shoot for the moon in my tiny astronaut costume while simultaneously teaching a small human how to tie their shoes. i have not been robbed of shooting for my dreams ,and if i greet each day as if my sure-to-be-lackluster days have been predetermined then i miss the joy that comes with knowing i am living one of my dreams right now.
here’s a note for your lunchbox…you are awesome. anything can happen today. make it count.