sometimes as a kid you just get plain old fed up and you gotta stage the rage…
for my family it usually ended up with us finding our mother and making mad, huge declarations like we were never going to graduate and get a job because we couldn’t finish our algebra problem or everybody hates us and we are going to have to take dad to the prom because we weren’t invited to a certain party. who knows- sometimes it probably didn’t have a lot to do with anything, but regardless of the injustice, we found mom and yelled and carried on.
until the day that mom snapped…
now, i don’t know if i’ve told you a lot about my mom, but she had five kids and has been married for 51 years. and if that doesn’t impress you then you have lived a very small part of life and at this point you should just oooo and ahhhh so we don’t have to call you out:) anywho, one thing mom did well was not adopt your drama. i used to call her from college during my first semester crying saying that i made a mistake and i needed her to come get me now and she would say oh i’m sorry you’re having a hard day and that she needed to go, but she hoped when she talked to me again i could tell her about one new friend i made. you know where she had to go…. her happy place. you know who wasn’t there? her fifth kid who was spending all the time i could be meeting new people on the phone trying to convince her to drive me home.
so there came a day when mom decided she was all done with getting the verbal beatings from everybody and she just started making a bee line with crazy determination to the basement. we were all very concerned because what could possibly be more important than listening to us whine incessantly and then shoot down any attempt you make to help us feel better? she came upstairs from the basement with an orange foam bat that we had gotten with some nerf baseball game as tiny tikes and then declared in no uncertain terms that she was no longer available for the verbal beatings. she said, “don’t take it out on me! [handed us the nerf bat] take it out on the couch!” and walked away. this may have been the original mic drop.
mom went back to her day, and we were left having to express our rage through a thorough nerf bat beating of our couches or acknowledging that we may in fact be acting a litte bit silly. that nerf bat stayed upstairs for the rest of my upbringing. if you turned into a drama queen and took it out on mom, you were reminded where the bat remained.
we all must decide whether to foam at the mouth, get all irate with people we love and squelch any of their attempts to make the situation less than dire OR whether to simply say… i’m having a hard time, would you be willing to help me? i’m having a hard time trying to figure out this algebra problem, i have no idea how to deal with my kids during this particular season, i’m feeling lame because i wasn’t invited to a (okay, indulge yourself a little bit) THE party of the year.
the one option leaves you banging a foam bat against the couches and the other opens a door to not have all your junk together, allowing someone you love to enter in and walk with you toward a better place.