well i believe it is time to tell you about wed a month ago…
it started out as a rough morning. one in which it seems you are retraining your children on how to be human instead of incredibly selfish gnomish versions of the super-entitled who believe they should be spared from hardship of any kind. hardship here could be described as putting on clean undies, having your hair brushed or having to eat anything other than your favorite cereal for even one day. after both ma and pa tried to tag out at different times before the lunches were even made, we said let’s just sit and have a nice family breakfast together and start over. it was at this point that my oldest child, who cannot under any circumstance sit in her chair on her bum but whom insists on sitting any other way that could increase her potential for serious injury, fell. the favorite of the day was the half bum side sit as a tribute to the side saddle women of yore and so when she fell out of her seat she grabbed the chair to hold onto for stability thereby pulling the gigantic hard wooden chair down, ensuring the sharpest point of it carrying all the weight would land on her teeny tiny middle toe. there were toenails, blood, and a massive amount of screaming to contend with now, so hubs and i divided and conquered.
i took mc to the pediatrician and dad took hazel to school. man this day is awesome i thought to myself. the stuff dreams are made of! after getting back from the pediatrician who assured me that he didn’t think it was broken…unless she didn’t start walking on it in which case he did think it was broken and we should come on back. with that cleared up we went home and watched a show, got a snack, and tried to recover. when it became clear to me that mc was fine and could return to school i asked her if she would like to go try and have lunch with her friends. if she felt good she could stay and if not i could take her back home except…
that while i was walking my poor sweet injured one to her classroom i fell down the stairs at the school. an ugly “wow the ground seems to be getting rather close to my face-OUCH” kind of fall. at this point the teacher who saw me fall yells at me not to move because i hit my head hard and did i think i was going to black out. i don’t know i said, but i am pregnant and if i do you have to tell them that. first thought was way to go telling the girls over the weekend since mc was still standing there, that could have been an interesting way to share the news. second thought was oh my, this could go very badly. i assured mc that mommy was ok, asked the teacher to take her to lunch and told her the class she was in.
this is where it gets tricky because it takes me about a nanosecond to start beating myself up for falling down the stairs, but then i am interrupted by the principal who comes to check on the lady who fell down the stairs and as she’s saying, “you ok darlin?” she falls in exactly the same place in exactly the same way i did. she cannot get up either so there we are bodies sprawled out like we are trying out for an episode of law and order. so the chit chat begins.
p- “how did you fall honey?”
c- “the exact same way you did.”
laughter from all parties as we realize how silly this must seem to passers by
p- “i think something might be wrong with our stairs!”
c- “i think so, you may wanna get that checked out, but from now on i’ll take the ramp”
p- “no, there’s a big divot in the ramp.”
laughter ensues as the EMTs approach.
at this point despite the fact that i am thinking of starting a poll on what the first color of the bruise on my hip and forehead will be it becomes clear that my wrist is not well and after matt shows up we head to the ER.
upon arrival at the hospital we see the room is separated into flu peeps and non-flu peeps by, well, air. the lady in front of us goes into labor and the lady behind us starts hurling. we step away from the check-in desk and sanitize our hands and burn all of our clothing and then head to our family doc and then the OB. we were all okay.
this was one of the hardest days on record. there was a lot of pain involved in taking the least graceful way down the stairs and breaking my wrist, but more than that there was intense fear. would molly corin be okay? would she be able to use that toe (the one i can hardly look at) ever again? i couldn’t remember how i fell and i didn’t know for hours if the baby was alright. the pain and the fear came gift-wrapped in a blanket of perspective. i skipped my wrist X-ray because no one would check on the baby so i drove myself to the OB till they found the heartbeat and told me that the baby was okay. sometimes a trip down the stairs teaches you more than to hold on to the railing, sometimes it teaches you to hold on to what is most dear and let the rest fade into the background.