It’s Valentines Day and I decided to take myself on a date. If you are not accustomed to the ways of dating yourself I would highly recommend you develop this skill. If you’re married, it’s easy to feel let down that our spouses can’t read our minds and figure out exactly what it is that we had in mind for a date, an outing, or a special treat (and if you are still single then your should be taking AP self dating- ohh now I want to stop writing this and work on a syllabus for that class!). This can be alleviated by two things- realizing that your spouse is not a mind reader, let some of your inside thoughts float outside of your body. Second, take yourself out on some of those special outings you’re longing for. I am aware that we cannot #treatyoself everyday, but there are good and right seasons to take yourself out and enjoy a special time, treat, or adventure. It is good for the soul and it is good for those around you! You cannot harbor bitterness and resentment towards anyone else for making you live a life other than the one you imagined if you are in fact taking steps towards the life you’ve dreamed of!
Today’s date destination is my favorite coffee shop here in Durham. After a morning of setting out a new book, a tiny toy, and a sweet treat for each of my ladies, then feeding, clothing, and brushing them so they might step confidently into their day, now I get to sit and rest, leafing through a book I hadn’t previously known about. But now my thoughts turn to you, dear reader. This whole blog started when Matt and I sat down and talked through making goals for ourselves and for each other and he challenged me to blog for one year. I put up a fight because at that point what was needed least in the world seemed to be an additional voice, an additional blog, and one more person talking at you to try and improve or inspire your day-to-day. But what I found is that I enjoyed being the voice I wished I had heard in my beginning years.
Those beginning years of adulthood, marriage, and having kids. How to navigate the seasons of unimaginable loss and how to learn to once again dance and laugh and rejoice and spin to a good tune or a splendid day. Instead, when I didn’t know what I was doing my response was to go inward instead of linking arms and charging forward with a healthy dose of fear and friendship. My hope is that in reading this blog over the days, months, or years, you have found laughter here. That you also have found words that have coaxed your tears out of hiding, that you have found a friendly understanding voice and that you have know you are not alone. There is beauty to be enjoyed, there is joy to be pursued, and what a gift it is to find a voice that thinks thoughts you only whisper to yourself when hiding on that comfortable bathmat in the bathroom.
So I believe it’s time for a little check-in. Nothing as intense as a DTR (Define The Relationship talk or as they came to be known in my early adult years the Destroy The Relationship talk) but I have been sitting here thinking many times people do not meet a need because they do not think to ask what might be needed. I am beginning to prep some teaching as I would like to begin speaking both around town and traveling to encourage women in life, in faith, and in friendship. As I gear up to prepare what I will be presenting there I thought I might do the same for what I will be presenting here. So, dear reader, if you had a vote, which I hope you see in this post you do, what is it that would bring life to you in this season? Shall we cover parenting hacks? Diving into scripture and how to grow as a woman who isn’t in fellowship groups and bible studies like it was still college? How about a weekly list of songs you should know and add to your rotation? Or children’s books that will encourage character and sweet, sweet memories for years? I am excited to prepare and train for speaking and hope to see you guys along some of the stops I make this year. But I love that you bring me into your home, your work, and your life without a formal engagement and would love to know how I can most effectively scratch that hard-to-reach itch. You’ve got my attention, use your voice to vote below in the comment section!