It’s Valentines Day and I decided to take myself on a date. If you are not accustomed to the ways of dating yourself I would highly recommend you develop this skill. If you’re married, it’s easy to feel let down that our spouses can’t read our minds and figure out exactly what it is that we had in mind for a date, an outing, or a special treat (and if you are still single then your should be taking AP self dating- ohh now I want to stop writing this and work on a syllabus for that class!). This can be alleviated by two things- realizing that your spouse is not a mind reader, let some of your inside thoughts float outside of your body. Second, take yourself out on some of those special outings you’re longing for. I am aware that we cannot #treatyoself everyday, but there are good and right seasons to take yourself out and enjoy a special time, treat, or adventure. It is good for the soul and it is good for those around you! You cannot harbor bitterness and resentment towards anyone else for making you live a life other than the one you imagined if you are in fact taking steps towards the life you’ve dreamed of!
Today’s date destination is my favorite coffee shop here in Durham. After a morning of setting out a new book, a tiny toy, and a sweet treat for each of my ladies, then feeding, clothing, and brushing them so they might step confidently into their day, now I get to sit and rest, leafing through a book I hadn’t previously known about. But now my thoughts turn to you, dear reader. This whole blog started when Matt and I sat down and talked through making goals for ourselves and for each other and he challenged me to blog for one year. I put up a fight because at that point what was needed least in the world seemed to be an additional voice, an additional blog, and one more person talking at you to try and improve or inspire your day-to-day. But what I found is that I enjoyed being the voice I wished I had heard in my beginning years.
Those beginning years of adulthood, marriage, and having kids. How to navigate the seasons of unimaginable loss and how to learn to once again dance and laugh and rejoice and spin to a good tune or a splendid day. Instead, when I didn’t know what I was doing my response was to go inward instead of linking arms and charging forward with a healthy dose of fear and friendship. My hope is that in reading this blog over the days, months, or years, you have found laughter here. That you also have found words that have coaxed your tears out of hiding, that you have found a friendly understanding voice and that you have know you are not alone. There is beauty to be enjoyed, there is joy to be pursued, and what a gift it is to find a voice that thinks thoughts you only whisper to yourself when hiding on that comfortable bathmat in the bathroom.
So I believe it’s time for a little check-in. Nothing as intense as a DTR (Define The Relationship talk or as they came to be known in my early adult years the Destroy The Relationship talk) but I have been sitting here thinking many times people do not meet a need because they do not think to ask what might be needed. I am beginning to prep some teaching as I would like to begin speaking both around town and traveling to encourage women in life, in faith, and in friendship. As I gear up to prepare what I will be presenting there I thought I might do the same for what I will be presenting here. So, dear reader, if you had a vote, which I hope you see in this post you do, what is it that would bring life to you in this season? Shall we cover parenting hacks? Diving into scripture and how to grow as a woman who isn’t in fellowship groups and bible studies like it was still college? How about a weekly list of songs you should know and add to your rotation? Or children’s books that will encourage character and sweet, sweet memories for years? I am excited to prepare and train for speaking and hope to see you guys along some of the stops I make this year. But I love that you bring me into your home, your work, and your life without a formal engagement and would love to know how I can most effectively scratch that hard-to-reach itch. You’ve got my attention, use your voice to vote below in the comment section!
All of the above please. I love reading what is bringing life to people and as a reader, find that’s when I connect the most. If it brings you life, it brings me life!
Sooo good and so true! If the author has been moved then I am in and pumped for the adventure ahead:)! Good word!
I think a helpful topic would be finding and building new community after loss. It could be loss from graduating from college and leaving a college ministry, moving towns, friends leaving or even changing churches. We all go through major life changes that can uproot us, and it only gets harder to make close friendships the older we get.
Mmmmm yes that is beautiful. Rebuilding after loss is so tricky and it affects not only how we find and foster relationships but if we even attempt it after being hurt. Such a good topic!
Yes, love all of those ideas! Would love a series about being “stuck.” With some ideas on how fabulous working moms/wifes/all the things get caught up in the day to day grind and how we can best stop to see a glimpse of our value and beauty even if just for a moment 🙂
Ohhh man let’s take a RV and amass data on these ladies that get caught up. Seems like a rare but fascinating species:) JK I am with you and I need to remember how to remember. What it means to stop the monotony and remember who we follow and where our value and beauty stems from!
yes to all of the above as well! If i was going to choose a topic i would like to hear someone speak about, it would be how to stand firm on the gospel, and yet reflect it to those around me in this current climate that is changing faster than i can type. How to stand on an absolute, and yet be loving where there are none.. does that makes sense? I would also love book recommendations and song lists girl! Since I pretty much get all my book recommendations from your household, one stop shopping here? 😉 I love you laugh so I love when you write stuff here that makes me laugh too 🙂
WE WILL LAUGH! Man I was really hoping someone would say that! What if everybody was like nah you need to be serious 100% of the time and stay intense. Let’s laugh and sing our new songs and read our fabulous book sharing recommendations and talk about what it means to follow the gospel and actually love our neighbor. Not the “have to” or “should” kind of love, but the I see you and I’m listening and seeking to understand kind. Turns out I don’t have to be right all the time- that’s not in there, but I do have to be loving all the time that is throughout the whole flim flammin dealio!
I Know it would be controversial, but it would be so lovely to see someone as diplomatic and skilled with words as you address raCism and white supremacy head on. What is our role as mothers to be radical truth-bringers to our littles and the communities we live in? How do We LIve That out (havIng your children attend public school, choosing a faith community That Reflects diversity etc. ) yOu excel so in hamdling hard convos with your littles, i can imagine You’d excEl at Having them in public forum with adults too.
I think it is obviously time for this hard conversation of racism and the width, breadth and depth of the effects of it on our country. I have become increasingly convinced that it is our job as moms and also as educators to give this next generation the vision, love, and hopefully courage required to write a different narrative. I am at the very beginning of the process of understanding both the history as well as the role I play in this destructive cycle if not actively then by refusing to engage at the level I know is called for at this time. I cherish the opportunity to have the veil lifted from my eyes and to rally for true healing, restoration and kingdom community that reflects the diversity of the God who created us and whose image we collectively bear.